Quotes on “Communication and Conflict”

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I can only speak from my own experience, which is pretty common for passive guys: I felt that I would be criticized if I were more honest with my feelings. It may not be your responsibility to hound, nag, or control your spouse, but it is your God-given responsibility to encourage your spouse. Life is full of troubles, but it's important to focus more on the joy together. During these times, we would sit down and pray together … and touch.

A relationship should be based on communication, not on assumption. I have tended to overestimate my own ability to communicate well and righteously. Take care to listen more than you speak.

18 Ways to Help the Communication in Your Relationship

Email address: I want to receive the following emails... He claims that he often can determine if a couple is on the road to divorce by observing them interact on an issue of conflict. In his excellent book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, he writes about six poor habits of communication that are detrimental to building intimacy and developing healthy communication. When we examine these poor habits, and recognize that we are making some of the same mistakes, we can take steps to improve how we communicate with our spouses. Here are the dynamics behind Dr. Harsh Start Ups : Harsh start ups happen when we begin conversations with our spouse with criticism, accusations, or questions that put the other person on the defensive before healthy communication can take place. I just got a text alert from the bank that said our checking account is overdrawn. What were you thinking? The Four Horsemen : Dr. Gottman claims that certain types of negativity are more lethal to your relationship. Contempt often arises from little, and at times legitimate, concerns about a spouse that are never addressed or go unresolved over long periods of time. But, becoming defensive with your spouse rarely helps to resolve conflict and typically reduces the conversation into a blame game. This spouse eventually tunes the other out. Men are frequently the culprit here. Flooding: This happens when you or your spouse bombards the communication with negativity whether it is in the form of criticism, contempt, defensiveness or any other negative approach. Some people would call consistent nagging a form of flooding. Body Language: Communication experts tell us that good communication is more about body language than actual words. Failed Repair Attempts: A repair attempt is when a couple puts the brakes on the tension in the relationship and deescalates the conversation. Obviously there are times with intense communication where a couple needs to take a timeout. Constant failed repair attempts are like a stress fracture that just keeps getting worse. Bad Memories: When a couple is consumed with negativity it not only affects their past but it can place danger on their future. Jim Burns Jim Burns is the President of HomeWord and the Executive Director of the HomeWord Center for Youth and Family at Azusa Pacific University. Jim speaks to thousands of people around the world each year. He has close to 2 million resources in print in 30 languages. He primarily writes and speaks on the values of HomeWord which are: Strong Marriages, Confident Parents, Empowered Kids, and Healthy Leaders. Some of his most popular books are: Confident Parenting, The Purity Code, Creating an Intimate Marriage and Closer. Jim and his wife, Cathy live Southern California and have three grown daughters, Christy, Rebecca and Heidi. Founded by Jim Burns and supported by Doug Fields, HomeWord and Azusa Pacific University have partnered to form The HomeWord Center for Youth and Family.

Bad Memories: When a couple is consumed with negativity it not only affects their past but it can u danger on their future. Our despair was overwhelming. He has close to 2 million resources in print in 30 languages. Contempt often arises from little, and at times legitimate, concerns about a spouse that are never addressed or go unresolved over long periods of time. You are medico for yourself, not anyone else. God created it to be the expression an experience of love on the deepest human level and to be a beautiful and powerful bond between husband and wife. Love rejoices with the truth. YOU HAVE TO ASK CLEARLY. Doing so will only sin or exacerbate an unsafe, disharmonious environment. Know the right way to argue. No matter what principle you might be using at the time or what subject you might be talking about, no scenario is beyond prayer. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our difference and our imperfections.